Direct Cremation: A Simple, Dignified Alternative At A Difficult Time

These days, we’re being encouraged to talk more about death and the sorts of funerals we want for ourselves. That’s really how it should be, but occasionally you can come across a lack of understanding – or even outright opposition – if your choice is for something different to the traditional funeral or cremation.

In this article, we’re going to explore why direct cremation might be the right choice for you and your family, and ways of explaining your choice to those who might worry it isn't a meaningful option.

What is direct cremation?

Direct cremation –  an unattended cremation, which can then be followed by a service at a later date – is a choice that has grown rapidly over the last few years, with the latest figures suggesting that it now accounts for more than 20% of all funerals.

Whilst the cremation happens with no mourners present, it is still a dignified process when using the right provider. At Tithe Green, we work with We Are Direct Cremations, an independent family-owned business who have more than 110 years of funeral experience. All cremations are carried out by fully qualified funeral directors with compassion and care.

The ashes are then returned to the family, who can choose to honour the deceased and inter the ashes in whatever way feels right for them, either immediately or at a later date.

Why direct cremation might be the right choice for you

There are three main reasons most people choose a direct cremation.

• It’s more affordable

The cost of a modern funeral is a deciding factor for many. With a traditional funeral or cremation, expenses can add up quickly. Venue hire, expensive coffins, and a myriad of other hidden costs can be daunting, especially when dealing with the immediate grief of a recent death.

Direct cremation can be the right choice for those who would prefer their money to be spent on a personal and meaningful service or event at a later date, when people feel more able to be part of a celebration of life ceremony.

• It avoids big decisions and overwhelm during immediate grief

With direct cremation, family members aren't required to make any big or stressful decisions immediately following a loss, when arranging a funeral, being present, or sorting out the associated admin might feel impossible.

Instead, one call (e.g. to a natural burial ground like Tithe Green, a funeral director, or a direct cremation provider) is all it takes to begin the process, which will then be taken care of by trusted professionals. From there, whoever you instruct will arrange the transportation of the deceased from their place of death to the crematorium, and for the ashes to be returned to the family following the cremation.

It means that family members are not only spared the costs of a traditional funeral, but also the overwhelm of arranging one, and the potential arguments or upset that could come as a result of heightened emotions, pressure, and stress.

• Family can say goodbye on their own timeline

Whilst the actual cremation is unattended, it doesn't mean that family can't then have a service or ceremony afterwards to inter or honour the ashes of the deceased, however that might look.

It means family can take their time to plan something intimate, personal, and meaningful to them. It might be days, weeks, or even months and years later - whenever and wherever feels right.

It allows breathing space for grievers to navigate those early days of loss before feeling like they have to arrange or show up for a service or ceremony. It allows time for grief to settle, and for planning a service to unfold gently and without rush.

How to talk to family about choosing direct cremation

Many people see a traditional funeral as a key part of the grieving process and may feel 'cheated' if there isn’t one.

When explaining why direct cremation is the right choice for you when your time comes, or why you believe it to be the right choice for a loved one who is end of life or recently deceased, it’s best to broach the subject at the earliest possible opportunity, so that family have time to accustom themselves to the idea.

You could explain that direct cremation isn’t denying a meaningful celebration of life - a service or ceremony can be held afterwards in whatever way feels right. It means loved ones have more flexibility to arrange what this looks like, where it is held, and when works best for everybody to come together.

For sudden or unexpected losses, direct cremation gives loved ones more time and space to come to terms with what has happened, and to find the right place to lay ashes to rest - somewhere they can continue to visit and remember the person who has died.

When thinking about the future, making your wishes clear means family don't have to make big decisions when clouded by grief. Letting family know that direct cremation feels right for you means you take away the pressure of arranging a funeral or showing up to a service when dealing with recent bereavement, allowing them to take their time whilst knowing your wishes are being honoured.

How direct cremation works with Tithe Green Natural Burial

Here at Tithe Green Natural Burial, we offer a direct cremation with natural interment of ashes option, where the cremation is organised by our partners at We Are Direct Cremation, and ashes are interred at one of our natural burial sites in the East Midlands.

This means that you can inter the ashes of the deceased whenever feels right for you. Once you have purchased your plot, there is no rush. The ceremony or service can unfold however feels right for the family, and we can be involved as much or as little as you like. You might prefer it to be an intimate ceremony in which family gather together to inter the ashes themselves. Or, you might appreciate some guidance from one of our friendly team on the day - it is entirely up to you.

We offer ashes interment in our wildflower meadow or budding woodland, which includes a memorial tree. This option allows people to return to nature when they die, becoming once more a part of the natural world and the cyclical ecosystem that sustains plants, trees, and animals. It means that your final act can be a lasting gift to the environment.

Most importantly, our natural burial grounds are open for friends and family to visit all day, every day. They can watch the wildflowers bloom, and, if a woodland interment has been chosen, watch year after year as their dedicated memorial tree grows stronger.

At Tithe Green, our community is a priority. We have a dedicated online Facebook Group moderated by grief specialists, as well as monthly Memory Mile walks around our site, followed by free Guided Grief Groups in partnership with local therapists. We host monthly events throughout the year, from book readings to wildflower workshops. This means that in the midst of grief, you can become part of a community who understands, and will be frequently invited to spend time in the company of others on the same journey.

You don’t have to live in our area to use this service, because it’s open to anyone in the UK.

If you'd like to learn more about direct cremation with Tithe Green, get in touch with our small friendly team today to find out more.