Life, Love, And a Bit of Madness

In the late 70s, Pete Smith met his future wife, Jan, at the Victoria Cross centre in Nottingham. He knew she was special because when the RAF posted him to Germany, he cried all the way to the boat.

After a few weeks of separation, Pete decided enough was enough. He marched into the mess hall, phoned up Jan, and proposed. To Pete’s amazement, she said yes!

Then along came two daughters, adventures around the globe, and forty-two years of marriage.

Now Pete visits Jan in Oxton, where her ashes are laid to rest and a tree has been planted. “It is a sad place, but also a happy place to remember things,” says Pete.

What united the two of them through the ups and downs of life was a shared sense of humour. Near the end, Jan pressed Pete to make the most of his time left. And that is what he is trying to do. “I’m not a religious person but I do believe it’s a sin to waste your life,” he tells me.

Even when his body doesn’t behave, Pete attempts to live as a ‘recycled teenager’. There are meals out with friends, trips to London and live music shows at his local theatres. The proud owner of an impressive guitar collection, Pete recalls being stationed in Cyprus and “getting paid more to play in the night club’s resident band than the RAF were paying!”

Instead of going home after visiting Jan, Pete walks around the site laying flowers on friends and family member’s plots. “I live in Hucknall, so it’s easy for me to get up here,” he explains. He even lays a rose next to a man he never knew. Pete had become friendly with the man’s partner over the years – many conversations on a bench which had helped both men with their grief.

What has Pete learnt from love and loss?

“Trust is the most important... love comes from trust,” he says firmly. “And don’t hold grudges, because the grudge-holder is the person who is harmed most.” He chuckles, admitting he is not always good at following his own advice.

He looks over at the structure he calls the ‘Tellytubby House’ (others call it The Keep, or the Hobbit Hut)and offers some parting wisdom. “We all just need a little bit of humour, a little bit of madness in our lives.”

Thank you to Pete for his warmth and his time chatting to me.